Warning – This is not a crafty post but one I would feel ungrateful if I did not write, as I have been touched so much.
Yesterday Bron and I hopped on our bikes for a little ride just as the sun was getting low on the horizon. I had just finished my second gift for the month and wanted to get a photo of it down by the docks in my little neighborhood and also wanted to enjoy a bit the beauty that is found there.
As we approached my desired dock I ran into Whitney, a sweet lady in our neighborhood and church congregation with a contagious enthusiasm for life and also a talent and passion for photography. Before this particular meeting I had dreaded ever meeting her in a situation like this. And I have to admit that as I realized that our crossing paths were inevitable this particular moment, I cringed as I saw her pull out her camera.
I have admired her photography since the moment she passed her card to me and had a minute to check out her website. Each photographer has his/her own style and I just loved hers. But it was my silly struggles with body image that kept me always trying to increase the distance between myself and her camera. This desire only increased as my body became more and more swollen as the months have progressed in my pregnancy.
So, it was only with love for her and her sweet enthusiasm that I agreed to “just stand there” and let her dance around me. After a few minutes, I relaxed a bit and after an agreement that she wouldn’t show me any photos of myself that didn’t look great, I let her do her thing. I found it all very silly.
Until I saw these
This first picture almost made me cry.
I have always wanted (secretly) a beautiful pregnancy photo. But have always settled for a quick snapshot just for documentation of what I looked like for the sake of the unborn child.
Not only does this photo give me a beautiful pregnancy photo, it captures so much about me.I have stood in this same area many times gazing at the beauty of the area in which we live with thoughts of deity, my life, and how blessed I am swirling in my head. I am looking toward the water just like my mother is always doing. This makes me realize the many ways she has influenced my life and how proud I am to be “just like her.” Seeing me hold my unborn baby represents so much for me. The fears, trials, uncertainty, gratefulness, love and trust that this experience as an expectant mother brings.
This photo makes me want to be a better mother. The way she is gazing up at me brings to memory the many talks we have heard in General Conference this past weekend that focused on my responsibility as a parent and gave direction on how to be the parent that my Heavenly Father and Savior want me to be. This photo clearly shows my daughters love for me and makes me realize that I am her mother and who else should lead her to God but me.
This last photo may only be meaningful to me but I love it.
I shows me, as always, as a jeans and t-shirt kind of girl, holding my family dear to me along with trying to balance my desire to create and share this love of mine with others. The fact that I am laying on the ground in such beautiful location was just the perfect touch as it represents my love of nature and desire to be near it. While I am on my back I am looking up which reminds me of my need to consistently desire to know how I might become better and the knowledge that I have of my need to remember that this answer will not come from the world but only if I become in-tune enough to hear and follow the promptings that will only come from above.
Thank you Whitney for such a wonderful and surprising gift. I will treasure these always.