April is MY month. My name and also my birth month.
6 years ago (if I did my math right) I got tired of being sad on my birthday and decided to do something for myself that at that time I desperately needed. 2008 my Birthday Give-Away was born. Fast forward some years, and in 2013 (last year) I officially decided to move on. While I still enjoyed the give away part I didn’t need an excuse to sew or create any more.
For a few months now I have been trying to decide what to do this month. I don’t want to undo all my birthday loving progress and so something must be planned.
This year I have decided to force myself to go outside. I have been hiding in my house way to much this winter and with the lovely spring weather here more than not, I have no excuses and need to fix that bad habit. So, everyday, I am going to go outside. I’m not talking about the time I pack up Hollis in the car and take and pick up the kids from school. I’m talking about taking the time to BE outside and enjoy everything that I love about being there.
I am also taking this month to do some soul searching. I have some big and I mean BIG changes that need to happen in my life and I am absolutely sure that it is time to make them happen. Now! I have been working on things actively for these same 6 years but really there are things that I have been trying to understand most of my life. I feel like I have learned all that I can for now and just need to get to work and make things happen.
Enter this acorn.
I was drawn to this acorn the first time I saw it. Just sitting in the tree while all the other acorns have long fallen or been plucked by squirrels from the tree. I would come out and check on it from time to time to see if it had finally fallen to the ground but it was always there. I started to think that this acorn was a metaphor for my life. Ha! But what? Hmmm. The acorn represents new life. It’s just sitting in the tree past it’s season. Hmm. Last month I found myself checking it almost daily to see if was still there. Yep it was.
I came the conclusion that the metaphor was that I too was clinging on to a part of my life that was preventing me from progressing any further. I had everything I needed inside me but I just needed to get uncomfortable and let go.
I watched it for a few days. Shook the branch. Wiggled it. Hmm. Sunday I was looking at it and just reached out and plucked it off.
I was shocked I did it. I knew that the metaphor was complete. I had just made the decision to move forward and make the changes. I was ready to be uncomfortable and embrace whatever comes.
I know that I am ready and am actually pretty excited to explore some things this month.
About a week ago I had the thought that if I was going to let go of some things I need to have something to replace them. So for this month I am going to search out who I am. Not who I have been hiding behind but the person the Heavenly Father knows that I am and get to work on becoming who He knows I can become.
I’m not really sure what will happen this month but I know that I want to start by exploring this talk. (check it out) I’ll just have to see where it leads me.